Learnt to love Fibromyalgia 

I feel like I’ve lost 3 years of my life to being ill; gave up my job and chosen career path, stopped my hobbies, quit lifting weights, lots of friends lost, nights out cancelled, holidays abroad cancelled, hypnotherapy business closed.

It is easy to read that and get depressed but what’s the point, seriously what’s the point?  I can’t change anything in the past, I can only shape the present.  I’m not even worrying about the future either, I really don’t care that much as I know the plans I make in the present will shape my future, anything I cannot control I’m not even thinking about.

Whilst my husband was in bed New Years Eve with flu I made a pact with my body, no more will I bow down to fibromyalgia, I will learn to love this condition and I will do the things I want to do (within reason) and whilst I was thinking this I realised that there has been some positives in the last 3 years that I would never have been through if I hadn’t have developed this condition; learning to say no to others, putting myself first, letting go off toxic people, moving into a better local job and no more travelling 3/4 days a week.   Practising mindfulness meditation and yoga.  Ditching all my regular medications, eating healthier, quitting regular alcohol drinking, reconnecting with lost friends.  Learning holistic therapies to use on myself.  Recruiting a masseuse for fortnightly treatments.  Finding my super fibromyalgia supplements from USA that have made me feel better than I’ve felt for years!


Our minds always focus on the negatives in a bad situation but if you look hard enough there’s always a positive.  

This year is going to be amazing and I’m going to keep it healthy and make sure I give back my love to my family and friends the support I’ve needed over the past 3 1/2 years since my back operation.

It’s took a year of changes to every aspect of my life to get me here but I have proved that I can learn to love Fibromyalgia ❤️

Negativity hit me like a cricket bat in the face

I did not sleep well last night.  I got less than 3 hours due to having a sore throat all night.  I went to bed, got up then went back to bed late!


I stocked up on throat supplies and took them to work 😂

I went to work and it was very busy, I hardly had a minutes peace to myself, but I enjoyed it and it kept my mind off the pain.  

I completed a 30 minute mindfulness yoga meditation on Monday and my back, each side of my body were sore after this and in Wednesday my daughter rubbed magnesium spray into these areas and they were swollen?!?  But it felt much better.
After spending 24 hours in London with my backpack my back pain has reached epic levels.  I cried on the train on the way home yesterday so had to pop sunglasses on and take 2 Tramadol, I resisted for an hour but I literally could not keep my legs still and I was sat at a table with 3 other people, I hated that I relented and had 2.  The pain relief took about 20 minutes and 3 mindfulness meditation sessions on my phone using earphones to get me to a point of delirium.  I went from crying to giggling, yes I think my new train mates thought I was mental.

The pain moved into my entire body today and as I was at work I ended up taking a Tramadol this morning and 2 cocodamol in the afternoon and grrrrrrrrrr tonight I took another 2 Tramadol.  I was laid on the sofa crying as my back pain pulsed and my skin hurt to touch, my throat feels like I have 3rd degree burns in the right hand side and hurts all the way into my ear 😓.  I was literally crying and eating food at the same time, I could not even make it to the kitchen table.   My husband came over to give me a cuddle and told me to go to bed for a while if I felt that bad.  

I will not go back on regular meds and I know I will feel rubbish tomorrow after all the pain pills today!! But shit happens and I’ll get over it.


He knows what I was thinking and yes I threw an almighty pity party.  “Why me, I hate this, I can’t stand the pain, I’ve got a busy weekend I can’t afford to have this again right now”.  He always remains positive, “Maz” he says “you’ll be fine in a day or two”and that was all it took as I answered “yeah I know”.  Normally I would be griping, no I won’t, my life is ruined and a load of other negative stuff. But he’s right, I will be okay, it’s just my body’s way of saying hey you are a little sore from travelling and yoga, let’s take it steady tonight, this will not last as pain changes by the minute, it isn’t static.

I know the retraining of my brain is helping, the mindfulness is helping me focus on the now and not the past or trying to sabotage the future with pain I may not feel.  Let’s take it one moment at a time!!

So now I’m in bed, sat upright and cross legged, having had some magnesium spray on my back from my husband, this stuff is awesome, I make it myself.  The aches subside and I’m ready to do some meditation with a smile on my face.