It took me over a year to accept my failing health from when it started to get worse. I’d already had a back operation in 2014 and it took over 2 years to recover, I’m not fully recovered and still have pain issues. It was only after I started to develop fibro in the latter half of 2015 that I realised that my life would never be the same. I was working on a very stressful project and suffered some bullying at work, I wasn’t recovered from the fusion and I developed fibromyalgia. The condition got worse until I found myself on a massive amount of medications, mentally ill and feeling suicidal and questioning whether I could continue to work………
Since the diagnosis, which took another 6months and that is fast as it often takes an average of 3 years to get diagnosed. I’ve had to have a double cervical fusion ( fusions now) and laminectomy and now await a date to have the back of my neck bone removed…….it’s been very challenging and trying to hold down a full time job is exhausting and frustrating.
It took me a long time, well over a year to accept that my past life will never be a part of my present life. It is vital you allow yourself to grieve, it’s the same as losing a loved one, you’ll never feel any better than you do at that moment unless your grieve. It involves a lot of tears, heartache, honesty with your loved ones and work (off applicable).
You have to change your lifestyle, give up some of your activities, agree ongoing support and most importantly focus your priority of improving your mental health.
You cannot continue doing what you did before fibro you have to change, I know you don’t want to but it’s not possible if your symptoms are getting worse. Only when you get on top of the symptoms and reduce them, then maybe just maybe you might be able to get back to normal……… read someone else’s story about grieving for your past life here.
Don’t forget you will also have times when your symptoms improve and worsen; things like illness, injury, stress, operations, overdoing things, insomnia, bad choices in food and drink…..all of these things will affect your symptoms. Some of these things you can avoid and others you won’t, but you can always control how you react to them.