What went wrong?

I was having a great recovery; pain was under control I was walking 3 times a day, managing a little bit of housework. Now here I am struggling to sleep, struggling with pain, unable to cook a decent meal, not been for a walk in days. Had 2 migraines over last 3 days…….

So what went wrong; entertaining a guest at the weekend, I don’t have the energy. Changed pain relief due to pressure from my doctors from Oxy to morphine, but I cannot sleep on morphine, so I switched to tramadol in the day and Oramorph at night, but it’s not strong enough. Once the morphine had worn off and it was just tramadol in the day, I went downhill fast. This is the worst I’ve felt since the surgery.

My hot tub pump has broke so I’m waiting for that to be fixed, this has made a big difference to my pain, so my daughter is running me a hot bath, where there is a will there is a way.

Doctors are so obsessed about reducing opioids/opiates, that for those of us that need them we have to fight tooth and nail to get them. I took the time to explain to the doctor step by step what they did on my neck and lower back and that my spine is aged 25 years older than my actual age, sometimes you just have to take the time to explain your personal situation to them, my 2nd double fusion was not a standard operation, my neck had to be broken in 2 places, my facet joint had to be removed as it was full of bone spurs, that’s before inserting the cage and implants. With having fibro; the pain is real, yes it is more intense and will probably last twice as long as someone without it. But I cannot change that, what I need right now are the right painkillers to ensure I get a decent quality of life and get back to my job. I cannot imagine trying to work right now………..

So I am waiting for them to ring back and I am telling them that I am going back on Oxy (I have about 2 weeks worth left) and they had better support me, or I’ll be leaving work and living off the state.

Rant over!!

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Changing pain

General anaesthetic (GA)is never good for the digestive system, if you know what I mean! I’ve doubled up on laxidos and last night had my favourite Indian takeaway, but to no avail 😂.

I feel quite comfortable, the morphine is helping really well, I’ve doubled up on the tablets and the Oramorph liquid. I slept pretty well, feel very positive. The pain is changing, it hurts to breathe, I have bad indigestion, but this is normal after a GA.

Ha ha I wrote the above yesterday!! This is now, 3.30am on a Saturday morning. I am shattered, can’t sleep as never can on lots of meds, neck and back is uncomfortable! Might get up and chill out, motorbike racing is on tv soon 👍. I could always have a mid-morning snooze! I keep forgetting that the op was only 3 days ago and not 3 weeks ago.

My body clock is all over the place, I need to relax, as this is why I am off work!! I’d love a massage but could not get comfy yet in any one position…….

Stuff it I’m going downstairs, might do some meditation, listen to some music and relax. Maybe have a posh coffee ☕️.

I am so god damn sore arghhhhhhhh, yet I am soooooo tired. My eyes are rolling whilst typing this 😂😂. Speak soon all

Cannot take any more pills

So far I’ve had 100mg IV Tramadol, 10mg IV Morphine, probably about a full bottle of Oramorph, or so it feels like it lol, but I was having 10mg doses (double the normal rate). Multiple Tramadol, Diahydrocodeine, paracetamol and nefopam. That’s quite a list. I only felt pain relief with the IV and actually woke myself up snoring a few times 😂😂😂😂.

My throat is very dry and I struggled with the large paracetamol and the last diahydrocodeine, getting them stuck in my throat and they melted in my mouth 😣. Now my tongue is white and very dry and I’m struggling to swallow anything.

I tried to sleep but just couldn’t, the pain in my neck is bloody awful

I tried chamomile tea, crap tv, rocking in bed!! Deep breathing; but that just hurt my throat.

I begged them for some more IV tramadol but I couldn’t as I’d took 2 earlier, orally. They aren’t allowed to give IV morphine on his ward grrrrrrrr. They should have just given me with my own morphine pump like the consultant promised, (I had one last time I was fused), but the new anaesthesiologist said I wouldn’t need it. Really? They broke my neck in 2 places (as collapsed facet joints had fused), a double fusion and fibromyalgia. Well it’s my body, I’ve had it before and did bloody need it!! Great, well I’ve had 2 hours sleep in 24 hours, 4 day before that and no way I’ll sleep like this!! I explained to the lady how fibromyalgia worked, in particular the increased pain! Plus making non painful things hurt!! She absolutely understood and I reckon knew someone close who had it……,,

I have now been given an intramuscular injection of morphine in the thigh. Hurt like hell and they take a while to work as I’ve had them before, last a long time too. Whoops I seemed to have bled on the bed from the injection 😂😂

They look like bites! It’s been 20 minutes and I cannot feel it at all!! Great lol 😂 I think I’m a machine!!

I don’t want to take morphine

I injured my knee by stupidly taking out my armour due to it being very hot 27 degrees on my bike training day.  I had a fantastic lesson and was feeling very confident for my test which I had booked in about 10 days time.  I was on my last practise run and came off the big motorbike bashing the inside of my left knee on the bike.  My leg swelled and I rested it, my leg went black but I thought it would heal.

I went to work in London and walked a short distance to my hotel as the weather was beautiful.  Half way back my leg was very painful and I could barely walk.  I checked into the hotel and struggled up to my room.  I sat on the bed and my leg swelled, the knee looked like it had a bone sticking out on the inside.  6 hours in A&E in London is hell,iv Morphine and gas to get an X-ray, no break but a ligament injury.  I was released at 2.30am on crutches wearing a leg brace for the next month.

Anyway the point of this story is that I’ve had to stop exercising and the use of the crutches has resulted in my fibro returning back to the levels it was at about 15 months ago!

Tramadol and Oramorph are not touching the knee pain so the doctor has put me onto Morphine tablets, they have helped but I’m still in tramadol withdrawal which is horrendous.

I am not staying on Morphine and the last few months of my increasing painkiller consumption has made me realise they are no good long term.  I don’t just have fibromyalgia and the my meds are to reduce the pain I have from a number of conditions, I only developed fibro due to the back surgery I had.  I have degenerative disc disease, spondylolisthesis, endometriosis and pelvic congestion.  The pain I get from these conditions are made worse through having fibro.  Where do I go from here back onto Fentanyl patches?  No bloody way!!

First thing I’m going to do is speak to the doctor and ask them for medical help to get off these meds.  I’m going to revert back to the strategy I started last year; mindfulness yoga, meditation and very very slowly build lung up my exercise to interval training again plus I need to overhaul my diet.  Anyone with fibro knows how painful it is restarting exercising as the muscle aches are intense, nothing like anyone can imagine, it’s like having the flu but ten times worse!

Food is a very underestimated medicine.  Eat shit and feel shit!!  Fibro makes us very sensitive to food ingredients and if you read what you eat, some of the contents and unrecognisable.

Once I feel well enough to start exercising again I’ll post up what I’m doing and let you know how I get on with coming off meds again!!