Two weeks post op

Car journeys are painful, every time the car jerks around it’s hell. Physio was rough; I cannot do much, so going back in 10 days. I’m starting to sit in a chair each day and I’m walking and doing neck exercises. I managed to go for a walk today with the dog; I just held the lead in my left hand. I was shattered when I returned and was snoozing all afternoon and slept for an hour.

My little doggy has really helped!! He has been really careful round my neck wound.

It’s important to be careful and not to overdo things with the side of your neck that’s been cut open.

Also keep the scar covered in the sun β˜€οΈ

Mentally I feel really good, I think some of that is down to the Oxy, everyone knows they make you feel great. I’m hoping that I can continue this without taking them……..but I know the pain is going to be tough to deal with once I’m off these. I tried cutting back yesterday and was hurting. I’ve cut down the immediate release by half today, still dosing at the same times just cut down by half dosage.

Been out a couple of days, to mums in a taxi and back, felt ill so had to come straight home, went to a gala near our house, let Dave hold the dog lead.

Took him for his first walk today since the operation and looking to increases this to twice a day shortly. Need to take it slow as still recovering.

Still have issues swallowing, still have to look down to swallow. Still having to use a straw, but it’s all good.

So far so good, it’s important to make a plan with goals for recovery, but don’t forget to reassess daily and listen to your body, not other people 😍

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At home all comfy

I’m tucked up under a furry blanket at home. My mum bought me a triangle pillow which is really comfortable. I’ve started back on the morphine tablets today but they are only 10mg of morphine, not very strong to be honest, I used to be on more than that with the other meds. I’ll probably give the doctors a call later to see if I can increase the dosage a little bit more. I’m topping up with 10mg Oramorph every 4 hours too at the moment.

The daft dog is asleep under my legs

Do you like my sexy green stockings? I have to wear these babies for 6 weeks ha ha woo hoo!! That’s a pic of my thighs not my bum btw πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

Fibro isn’t doing too bad but I have been naughty and just ate some lemon cake for breakfast, I’m okay, keeping positive. Feeling a bit stiff and sore, feel like I’ve been in a car crash today tbh lol. My ribs, lower back and upper shoulders are sore. I also feel like I have a lump in my throat, the consultant warned me about this, it’s not majorly uncomfortable, it’s just annoying.

I’m having a chill day today, the naughty little dog has thrown up on the sofa πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. No idea why so will have to keep an eye on him…….

Cannot take any more pills

So far I’ve had 100mg IV Tramadol, 10mg IV Morphine, probably about a full bottle of Oramorph, or so it feels like it lol, but I was having 10mg doses (double the normal rate). Multiple Tramadol, Diahydrocodeine, paracetamol and nefopam. That’s quite a list. I only felt pain relief with the IV and actually woke myself up snoring a few times πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

My throat is very dry and I struggled with the large paracetamol and the last diahydrocodeine, getting them stuck in my throat and they melted in my mouth 😣. Now my tongue is white and very dry and I’m struggling to swallow anything.

I tried to sleep but just couldn’t, the pain in my neck is bloody awful

I tried chamomile tea, crap tv, rocking in bed!! Deep breathing; but that just hurt my throat.

I begged them for some more IV tramadol but I couldn’t as I’d took 2 earlier, orally. They aren’t allowed to give IV morphine on his ward grrrrrrrr. They should have just given me with my own morphine pump like the consultant promised, (I had one last time I was fused), but the new anaesthesiologist said I wouldn’t need it. Really? They broke my neck in 2 places (as collapsed facet joints had fused), a double fusion and fibromyalgia. Well it’s my body, I’ve had it before and did bloody need it!! Great, well I’ve had 2 hours sleep in 24 hours, 4 day before that and no way I’ll sleep like this!! I explained to the lady how fibromyalgia worked, in particular the increased pain! Plus making non painful things hurt!! She absolutely understood and I reckon knew someone close who had it……,,

I have now been given an intramuscular injection of morphine in the thigh. Hurt like hell and they take a while to work as I’ve had them before, last a long time too. Whoops I seemed to have bled on the bed from the injection πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

They look like bites! It’s been 20 minutes and I cannot feel it at all!! Great lol πŸ˜‚ I think I’m a machine!!

Ouch

Tried to shut the window and hurt my neck whoops. Chef closed the window as he heard me crying!! Don’t think I particularly hurt it, it’s just that the iv meds have worn off. I’m hurting like hell. It’s pulling, throbbing, can’t turn head to right, it’s aching……….

I can’t brush my teeth with my right arm, can’t push the bed trolley off my bed 😒. You get complacent with these things. ‘Oooooh it’s not that bad!! Then the meds wear off and me sitting in the chair, strolling around, brushing teeth etc. I’m now in a lot of pain’. Not much I can do as only so many meds you can take. I wish they had put on the morphine pump like they promised!!

Oh well πŸ˜” might have to get the music on my headphones and start meditating!! Can’t wait to get home and maybe ask the doctor for a pain patch!! Better than popping 12-16 pills a day; deffo don’t want to get up to 25 plus a day again……….. at least it’s constant relief πŸ‘

Post surgery 2 ACDF

Well that was simple compared to a lumbar fusion surgery!! Only took just over 3 hours and not 5 like last time and that was for 2 discs. Had one nurse telling me no milk, got chatting about bikes to another and she fetched me 3 lattes and ice cream πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

I love this hospital!! They will do whatever they can to make you feel comfortable. I have my own special I V cocktail of morphine and tramadol which is great. Fantastic even. I’m so chilled out, been buzzing constantly for ice cream and lattes lol πŸ˜‚

This cocktail is keeping my pain relief at bay and I feel super chilled πŸ‘.

I’ve been naughty and asked for another ice cream πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Just thrown my head back to get my hair out of my face and forgot, arghhhhhhh that hurt!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

The above is my sexy hospital look πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Ok doing well just starting to hurt now and visitors coming speak soon xx

Can’t sleep pre surgery

I thought I’d cut the pain pills down to help with post surgery pain but, what an idiot!! I’ve been in agony for the past 3 days. I did not realise just how much pain in was in where I was fused before, my neck (current collapsed discs) and where I’d fractured my knee.

Now I’m not an idiot I know damn well if I didn’t have fibro, none of my pain would be this bad!! It amplifies all pain, even making non painful things painful, such as touch and even the wind blowing the hairs on your body. Yep this is true, during a flare up.

I am well into flare up territory due to high stress levels. Knowing just how that last fusion not only stopped from being in a wheelchair, but also caused me to develop fibro, which is just one of the most annoying conditions ever.

Anyway, I keep telling myself it’s not cancer, I won’t die, it’s not progressive, focus on the good not the bad.

Up in 5 1/2 hours, do best try to sleep!! Speak later all!

β€˜Normal’ people don’t get it!!

It’s hard to explain to people just how draining it is to have fibromyalgia. Unless they have had the flu they cannot imagine a flare up. Unless they have had a hangover or a viral infection for months on end, they cannot imagine how we feel every day.

Mornings are the worst; the headache, unable to open my eyes, muscle aches so extreme that for a brief moment I wish I hadn’t woken up at all. The fatigue; it’s like you’ve slept for only a couple of hours at most. Then when you do get up, I can’t stand long enough to do my make-up, hair or anything else. If I couldn’t work from home every afternoon I would have to resign from work.

I’d love nothing more than to ride my motorbike to work, but I don’t have the energy to get changed twice before work, then again after work to get home.

When I finish work, some days I don’t eat as I don’t feel well enough to cook, I can’t stand long enough or cannot face doing the dishes as too tired. I can’t go out anywhere or do anything at night as I struggle to function, working has zapped all my energy.

I’m ashamed to admit it but when I’ve had a bad flare up I have not even been able to bathe for up to a week, sometimes not being able to get out of bed.

People say oh yeah they are tired too. But this isn’t about being tired……fatigue is extreme, it’s painful in the muscles even and it’s very hard on your mental health.

I never in a million years imagined feeling so ill for so long. Getting a simple cold that can knock me off my feet for a week, unable to look after myself. Never mind give any attention to family or friends.

I have sunk so low in the past I’m ashamed to say that I wanted to die, as I could never imagine living like this for the rest of my life. Not just the fibro, but having 4 collapsed discs, one removed and fused (which is how I developed fibro in the first place), now my spinal column is being crushed by 2 of my neck discs and crumbling facet joints, it’s excruciating.

Life can be cruel, but life is also beautiful. I used to take so many things for granted. Now I have learnt to get joy from the simple things in life. Friends that were toxic I let go, I have passed on some of my household duties to members of my family. I pay people to do jobs around the home I used to do myself. I’ve also bought my dream car and motorbike as I know I will most probably end up not being able to use either; as I get older.

You see, life goes so quickly and I realised I cannot spend any more time being sad and depressed. I needed to change and educate the people around me. If these people cannot accept the way I now or how I have to live, then I will let them go, no matter who they are!

I console myself by the fact I am not going to die, I don’t have cancer and there’s always people out there worse than me. Life is amazing and even with fibromyalgia and my spinal issues I can enjoy my time on this Earth.

You have to dig deep into your soul and move into acceptance, move out of the ‘why me?’. There is always a reason why we develop fibro; illness, chronic disease, car accident, spinal issues, viral infection, mental health issue, the list goes on and on. It’s not always easy to figure out the reason why, but when you do you realise it’s not your fault. Why do some people get illnesses and others don’t?

Life is too short to torture yourself, yes I still get bad days when I cry, but most of the time I feel happy. No matter how much pain I am in, no matter how fatigued I am. Life is going by so quickly, don’t spend it feeling sad, so less of the things that make you ill and more of the things that make you smile. Get rid of the people that make you feel worse and surround yourself with positive people.