Negativity hit me like a cricket bat in the face

I did not sleep well last night.  I got less than 3 hours due to having a sore throat all night.  I went to bed, got up then went back to bed late!


I stocked up on throat supplies and took them to work 😂

I went to work and it was very busy, I hardly had a minutes peace to myself, but I enjoyed it and it kept my mind off the pain.  

I completed a 30 minute mindfulness yoga meditation on Monday and my back, each side of my body were sore after this and in Wednesday my daughter rubbed magnesium spray into these areas and they were swollen?!?  But it felt much better.
After spending 24 hours in London with my backpack my back pain has reached epic levels.  I cried on the train on the way home yesterday so had to pop sunglasses on and take 2 Tramadol, I resisted for an hour but I literally could not keep my legs still and I was sat at a table with 3 other people, I hated that I relented and had 2.  The pain relief took about 20 minutes and 3 mindfulness meditation sessions on my phone using earphones to get me to a point of delirium.  I went from crying to giggling, yes I think my new train mates thought I was mental.

The pain moved into my entire body today and as I was at work I ended up taking a Tramadol this morning and 2 cocodamol in the afternoon and grrrrrrrrrr tonight I took another 2 Tramadol.  I was laid on the sofa crying as my back pain pulsed and my skin hurt to touch, my throat feels like I have 3rd degree burns in the right hand side and hurts all the way into my ear 😓.  I was literally crying and eating food at the same time, I could not even make it to the kitchen table.   My husband came over to give me a cuddle and told me to go to bed for a while if I felt that bad.  

I will not go back on regular meds and I know I will feel rubbish tomorrow after all the pain pills today!! But shit happens and I’ll get over it.


He knows what I was thinking and yes I threw an almighty pity party.  “Why me, I hate this, I can’t stand the pain, I’ve got a busy weekend I can’t afford to have this again right now”.  He always remains positive, “Maz” he says “you’ll be fine in a day or two”and that was all it took as I answered “yeah I know”.  Normally I would be griping, no I won’t, my life is ruined and a load of other negative stuff. But he’s right, I will be okay, it’s just my body’s way of saying hey you are a little sore from travelling and yoga, let’s take it steady tonight, this will not last as pain changes by the minute, it isn’t static.

I know the retraining of my brain is helping, the mindfulness is helping me focus on the now and not the past or trying to sabotage the future with pain I may not feel.  Let’s take it one moment at a time!!

So now I’m in bed, sat upright and cross legged, having had some magnesium spray on my back from my husband, this stuff is awesome, I make it myself.  The aches subside and I’m ready to do some meditation with a smile on my face.

Mindfulness book loaned by the NHS

The book is called Mindfulness for Health and is available through Amazon here
It has been loaned to me for the next few weeks whilst I complete the mindfulness course through the NHS.  All you need to do is ask your doctor for a referral and fingers crossed this will be available in your area, for free!

I was reading the first chapter and knew this to be true which is why I signed up to the course. Many research papers have been written about the ancient art of mindfulness and the proven reduction in the intensity of pain messages in the brain.  I know the medical community have shown imaging studies and the changes in brain pain patterns over time with the utilisation of mindfulness meditation.  For some pain disappears for others the pain reduces yo a manageable level.  Do manageable that we never notice it, well it certainly doesn’t stop us from enjoying our lives!

I know some of you may think this is crazy but if we think about it logically, what controls pain? The mind, signals through the nervous system and the mind, relaying messages back and forth.  So if we can train the mind, like we do our bodies in the gym to make them stronger, why can’t we train the brain.

Well we can, hypnotherapy has been used for years for making improvements in our lives.  Mindfulness is nothing new but what’s exciting about it is the fact the medical community are taking it seriously at last.

Once I have finished the course I will combine my hypnotherapy skills with what I have learnt through mindfulness and create a free recording for us Fibromyalgia sufferers to use and attach it to my soundcloud page so we can all enjoy it together.  I will write it in such a way that everyone will benefit as your mind will tailor the words to your personal situation 👌

You can read more about the book here