The silly season and Fibromyalgia 

I wanted to share some of my tips for surviving Christmas with this condition.  In the sat I’ll be honest I’ve been a right miserable sod as I focused on what I couldn’t do not on what I could do or asked for help!!

If you choose to drink alcohol then don’t expect to have a healthy Christmas, I am going to be brutally honest, alcohol and fibro go together like chalk and cheese.  It’s seriously bad for you, your mind and your body, your already oversensitive nervous  system will make you pay, here’s what happens to me:-

  • Palpitations
  • Overheat or am freezing
  • Numbness in parts of my body
  • Pins and needles
  • Panic attacks
  • Confusion
  • Insomnia
  • Diarrhoea 
  • Indigestion
  • Pain under arms and on my upper stomach when touched 
  • Depression
  • Anxiety

I am sure they are more!!  I used to be able to drink shandy but in the past month I cannot.  It’s your choice but ask yourself why you do it if it makes you feel ill?  Peer pressure, don’t want to look a party pooper?  Personally I’d rather feel healthy.  Do your research on google 

Okay let’s go onto the second thing that affects fibromyalgia; food.  Many of you might not have made that connection but I have my keeping detailed food diarys, food affects our nervous systems in more extreme ways than a person without this condition as we have sensitive nervous systems.  Not only does it affect my nervous system but I now have an inflamed bowel that I am having an exploratory operation for next week, it really is not worth eating shit food or drinks!  Okay here’s some of the food that affects me in a negative way and I’ll give you a few symptoms of what it does to me:-

  • Red meat
  • Cows milk
  • Alcohol
  • Coffee
  • Sugar
  • Anything containing sugar; cereals, dessert, chocolate etc
  • Cheap takeaways, fast food such as McDonalds, KFC and Chinese takeaways
  • Too much chilli 🌶 
  • Fizzy drinks
  • White rice 
  • Pasta
  • White processed bread
  • Processed, packaged cheap food that contains chemicals
  • MSG (found in many foods; Chinese chemical that enhances the taste buds in humans)
  • Too much cheese

I am sure there is more!!

I am not a saint, I’ve slipped up this Christmas, wanting to join in with my colleagues and friends at work, who have been absolute stars ⭐️ I’ve eaten canteen Xmas dinner, been out for s meal and ate red meat and had 2 shandys on two occasions and boy have I been ill, not just with fibromyalgia but also my inflamed bowel has not reacted well to the ‘crap’ food.

I’ve had to take 2 tramadol each morning and I have gone hit more than 3 days and I’m afraid that my body is now needing it to feel normal.  It just goes to show how dependant our bodies get with these pills, the pain from fibromyalgia is extreme, I know that.  But I need to get my nutrition back on track and wean back off these stupid tablets.  One thing I won’t do no matter how ill I feel I will not take more than 2 a day!!

Do not let your condition get you down, it can be controlled, you have to stick with the plan!

Working with fibromyalgia

I had a particularly rough day yesterday.  I felt really negative and I seemed to slip into a dark hole.  I wasn’t expecting it but I knew something was happening which is why I opted to work from home.  It wasn’t just exhaustion!

Like an idiot I worked from my bed, it was not comfortable for long.  I woke up this morning feeling like I’d been hit around the top half of my body with a baseball bat!!  Next time I will sit at a desk and take more rests.

I had a very depressive day, I couldn’t bring myself to meditate and didn’t want to talk to anyone at all. I even went to sleep at 8.10PM on my own as my daughter was at her dads.  I did manage 6 hours sleep in the 10 hours I was in bed. Yay.

It isn’t healthy shutting ourselves away or sitting hunched up in bed all day, we must keep mobile or the stiffness sets in and boy did I feel it today.

Working with this condition is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.  The exhaustion, stiffness, aches and pains (my fusion still hurts), mental grogginess, anxiety and depression is tough.  Giving up my dream job was hard, I was do good at it, but once this condition started to get worse I couldn’t do what was expected of me.

Do you all still work?  What changes did you make to your working conditions?

Did you have to quit your job?

I won’t give up until I cannot get out of bed and I will not allow that to happen. 

So, what did I do st work to improve my symptoms:-

  • I was honest about my condition
  • I work from home when I need to
  • I book annual leave when I need a rest, I’ve learned from mindfulness and keeping diaries for pacing when I’m about to have a Fibro attack
  • I am strict about working hours
  • I will not skip lunch
  • I drink a minimum of 3 litres of water a day
  • I eat breakfast and lunch and I ensure I make my food as organic as possibly
  • Don’t eat takeaways or food on the go from the canteen unless organic
  • I do not drink any flavoured sweetened drinks
  • I only drink one coffee a day
  • I keep an action log
  • I block out activities I need to do in my diary
  • I have a hydraulic desk and specialist spinal chair
  • I gave a lightweight laptop and a tablet for travelling
  • I will not have meetings later than 3pm
  • I try not to undertake back to back meetings I try to leave a 15 minute gap between meetings
  • I have refused to travel to a meeting in London and insist on conference facilities until I feel stronger
  • I registered for a disabled parking space
  • I listen to a 10 minute mindfulness recording each lunch time
  • I fetch a drink or go for a walk each hour to stretch my legs

Read some more useful tips here 

Chronic fatigue and feeling angry

I average around 4 hours sleep every night which when I get in the number 5 is a cause for celebration in this house 💐. I have a pretty good routine:-

  • A hot bath with magnesium flakes and organic bubbles
  • No tv for a minimum of 1 hour before bed.
  • If I use my phone to update my Facebook page and blog I wear my uv glasses.
  • I only have one coffee before 7am
  • I don’t drink alcohol
  • I keep my room well ventilated with a temperature of around 19 degrees
  • My curtains are black and my walls painted dark
  • I wear ear plugs so no noise can wake me up
  • I sleep naked so I am not restricted by clothes
  • I never eat at least 2 hours before bed
  • I mindfully meditate daily before bed and every other day I undertake mindfulness yoga 
  • I have a lavender plant in my bedroom and place some fresh inside my pillow each night
  • I don’t drink water too close to bed so as not to wake in the night for the bathroom 
  • I have no switched on electrical items in the bedroom

I think that I have a pretty strict routine before bed and I really do feel that this has helped me wake up over the past 3 months feeling more refreshed than I have done in the previous 2 years.  But when it gets to about the 5th day of only have 3-4 hours sleep 15-20 hours in total over a working week I start to lose the will to live.  I cannot concentrate, I’m tired, have no energy, my cognitive behaviour starts to suffer.  I hate everyone and everything.  The fake smiles I have to put on at work, people asking me if I’m ok and I nod and say yeah I’m great (when all I want to do is shout out loud NO I AM FUCKING NOT!).

I do know that if I could ramp up my exercise and tire myself out more I’d sleep better, but how can I do that when I exercise then I literally struggle to go to work.  Pacing ah yes good old pacing.  I’m logging down what I do, how I feel etc but each day is different from the next which makes things a little difficult to track.  Some days I can sit for hours others minutes before I get pain.

I feel like I’m having some sort of mental crash, possibly from coming off citalopram and Amitryptyline?  Delayed reaction?  I’ve been off them 2 weeks.

Does anyone know of how I can get more sleep without resorting to regular medications?  Am I missing some vital information?

Negativity hit me like a cricket bat in the face

I did not sleep well last night.  I got less than 3 hours due to having a sore throat all night.  I went to bed, got up then went back to bed late!


I stocked up on throat supplies and took them to work 😂

I went to work and it was very busy, I hardly had a minutes peace to myself, but I enjoyed it and it kept my mind off the pain.  

I completed a 30 minute mindfulness yoga meditation on Monday and my back, each side of my body were sore after this and in Wednesday my daughter rubbed magnesium spray into these areas and they were swollen?!?  But it felt much better.
After spending 24 hours in London with my backpack my back pain has reached epic levels.  I cried on the train on the way home yesterday so had to pop sunglasses on and take 2 Tramadol, I resisted for an hour but I literally could not keep my legs still and I was sat at a table with 3 other people, I hated that I relented and had 2.  The pain relief took about 20 minutes and 3 mindfulness meditation sessions on my phone using earphones to get me to a point of delirium.  I went from crying to giggling, yes I think my new train mates thought I was mental.

The pain moved into my entire body today and as I was at work I ended up taking a Tramadol this morning and 2 cocodamol in the afternoon and grrrrrrrrrr tonight I took another 2 Tramadol.  I was laid on the sofa crying as my back pain pulsed and my skin hurt to touch, my throat feels like I have 3rd degree burns in the right hand side and hurts all the way into my ear 😓.  I was literally crying and eating food at the same time, I could not even make it to the kitchen table.   My husband came over to give me a cuddle and told me to go to bed for a while if I felt that bad.  

I will not go back on regular meds and I know I will feel rubbish tomorrow after all the pain pills today!! But shit happens and I’ll get over it.


He knows what I was thinking and yes I threw an almighty pity party.  “Why me, I hate this, I can’t stand the pain, I’ve got a busy weekend I can’t afford to have this again right now”.  He always remains positive, “Maz” he says “you’ll be fine in a day or two”and that was all it took as I answered “yeah I know”.  Normally I would be griping, no I won’t, my life is ruined and a load of other negative stuff. But he’s right, I will be okay, it’s just my body’s way of saying hey you are a little sore from travelling and yoga, let’s take it steady tonight, this will not last as pain changes by the minute, it isn’t static.

I know the retraining of my brain is helping, the mindfulness is helping me focus on the now and not the past or trying to sabotage the future with pain I may not feel.  Let’s take it one moment at a time!!

So now I’m in bed, sat upright and cross legged, having had some magnesium spray on my back from my husband, this stuff is awesome, I make it myself.  The aches subside and I’m ready to do some meditation with a smile on my face.

Patience with our ‘wild minds’

I have been reading chapter 4 of my Mindfulness for Health book by Vidyamala Burch (read the reviews here)  about how our mind wanders whilst we try to meditate and why it does the same when we are in pain.  If we try to force the mind to be still it will kick and resist and we get exhausted by the struggle, if however we let it roam and follow it with our awareness, it will settle down of it’s own accord.  Our minds struggle as we oppose it, if we are patient and focus our awareness in the minds struggle, then it will become calm.  We can then refocus on the breath or body and the mind starts to get curious about the object of you refutation.  It will become gently calm, yet alert and vibrant.


The other reason why our minds refuse to settle, especially if our bodies are in pain or highly stressed while we meditate.  It is natural for the mind to avoid unpleasant sensations in the body.  It will want to distract especially after chronic pain sufferers are told ‘keep yourself busy, and distract yourselves’ only to stop and be in agony!!  We try to avert the pain.  Pay attention to your thoughts, see how it bounces around and drags up past troubling memories and then exploits them in the future, creating stress and anxiety.  Just notice them and give these thoughts and feelings names, but not judging them and then coax your mind back to the breath or your body and continue meditating. 


Think of your thoughts as passing clouds in a beautiful blue sky.  You notice them and let them go and the blue sky is always there. 

Travelling at work. Massive fail

Well I’m sat on the train on my way back from London.  It’s a 2 hour train ride and a 15 minute bus journey to the 2 London offices.  It’s only Tramadol that’s took the pain levels from 8/10 to a 6/10.  My whole lower spine, upper back and shoulders (where I had my rucksack) right hip, groin and leg are hurting real bad.  I also feel like I have flu as I have that achy feeling all over.  I felt my stress levels increase as I sat in the train as I was in so much pain, I also felt the stress increase the pain in my back.

Mindfulness has taught me to concentrate on the ‘now’ I mean this will pass, just let the negative thoughts come and go and scan my body and surroundings and enjoy the moment.

I undertook 2 mindfulness sessions on my headspace app as it doesn’t need Internet access so dodgy train signals won’t disturb me and my stress levels have reduced.  The Tramadol has took the edge off the pain and I’m enjoying writing this blog, looking at the sunshine and the fact my dad is collecting me in an hour with my daughter and hopefully my mum.

Tonight will consist of rest, heat and my daughter will warm up my food my husband has left me already cooked in the fridge as he is working away.

What this experience has taught me is that I am not yet strong enough to travel to London but 4 months ago I did not have the strength to even contemplate it.

So when you have a bad day remember how far you’ve come and let it guide you to where you’ll be in another 4 months. 

Fibromyalgia and supplements

It took a long time for me to get diagnosed with Fibro, over 2 years after my operation.  That’s pretty fast according to research as the average is usually around 5.  Not surprising really as Fibromyalgia is a nervous system disorder and reliable positive tests for this condition has literally only just been tested…….  But even though there are a set of symptoms that we all feel; tender points, more pain in weak spots, extreme insomnia, skin tingling and burning and increased sensitivity to pain and psychological stresses plus exhaustion, there are also things that some get and others don’t, I don’t get IBS, but I eat an 80% natural diet?  Does that make a difference?  I think so? I’ve had migraines so severe I’ve ended up in A&E!  Why I stupidly drank 3 cans of coke at a party (something I never drink) others don’t.  I also get either overheated when it’s warm and get raynaud’s syndrome, others don’t etc etc.

There is one thing I have read over and over, we seem to have certain vitamin deficiencies; I was diagnosed with low vitamin D and an underactive thyroid and I put on 14 pounds (I don’t use KG 😂) in a year.  I started using D3 with calcium at a high dosage and a thyroid supplement:-


Within 6 weeks both levels were back to normal, I also started exercising by walking more and ate a high protein diet and I lost the weight in 3 months.  I also take vitamin E, CQ10, B1 and Cumin or Turmeric.

But there are many vitamins that we would benefit from taking, don’t underestimate the power of vitamins just because they are prescribed.  Read more here.  Most vitamins are more powerful than medication and have either no or minimal side effects but you just check with your doctor if taking medication.

I took the decision to ditch all regular meds as I was sick of the side effects plus no painkiller worked and I was now on Oramorph!!  You get used to painkillers and they stop working, they did me anyway.

I signed up for these:-


For those of you that have done you own research the content of these two supplements are the best I have ever seen!  I already take 6 of these vitamins at a high expense.  You can read here for more info. Read what each supplement does.   Now I’m not stupid I don’t look at this through rose coloured spectacles and think it’s a cure, there is no cure,  but I know a damn good supplement when I see one.  I have to come off 2 anti-depressants though as the sleep aid has 5-htp in it (serotonin) but hey I’m game, sign me up.  

I’ve researched this stuff to death and no one  has reported bad side effects apart from the usual ‘it doesn’t work’ but you have to give these things time and slowly increase up to the optimum dosage, if it says 2 X twice a day take 1 a day then 1 X 2 times a day and so on. Plus you have to give it at least 6 months to notice a difference. 

I have to order it from the USA but I don’t care and it may cost me £65 a month for both supplements together but you can’t put a price on good health!

What have I got to lose?  What with mindfulness, healthy eating and drinking, supplementation, exercise and no regular medication I know deep in my heart I will do this.  Plus I’ve took a less stressful path in my career into a role I did 20 years ago, stuff it, I put my health before my career.

I have to, there are other people out there living life to the full with this condition that lost everything including careers, husbands and homes and after years of struggle by making changes to their lifestyles they have done it.  So why can’t I?

Wish me luck and I hope you give me support through the good and the bad times.